Lying against the floor of a glassy studio with my eyes squeezed shut, I gently rock my body back and forth, matching my breath to the waves of hymn-like music filling the room. “Breathe from the soles of your feet … now let that go,” says a woman’s voice.
This isn’t my usual Friday evening — I’m in my Lululemons rather than my pajamas and there’s not a gin and tonic in sight. Instead, I’m restorative rocking on a “soothe” retreat in rural Kent, a weekend of seven classes combining breathwork, yoga and meditation, with the 56-year-old self-proclaimed “nervous system whisperer” Nahid de Belgeonne.
Restorative rocking — gently rocking your body back and forth — is the latest trend to make its way into the wellness sphere, thanks to the promise that it will reduce stress levels. Celebrities including the actress Gemma Arterton and presenter Anita Rani have worked with de Belgeonne, and classes incorporating the practice are launching across the country; for instance, you can now find aerial relaxation pods — essentially hammocks that mimic the rocking sensation — at any number of dedicated studios and events, while “neuro-rocking release therapy” courses are running in York this month and next. Search #somaticrocking on TikTok and you’ll find endless variations of the self-soothing exercise.
I’m skeptical, but there’s science to back it up. Studies have shown that rocking can help to self-regulate the brain state, improving sleep, memory and focus as a result of releasing tension and calming an overstimulated nervous system. Research from King’s College London suggests that the slower breathing associated with rocking creates psychological comfort, which can help with pain management. “Restorative rocking lengthens and contracts muscle at a fast pace,” de Belgeonne explains. “It mimics how we comfort ourselves when we are very young. This soothes the physical body and releases tension. The nervous system lets go of alarm, making your brain feel calmer.”
In my first attempt, my brain feels far from calm and my body is tense and stiff. Rocking is harder than I’d anticipated. I struggle to focus and feel self-conscious. I keep glancing around the room to check what everyone else’s rocking looks like and if I’m doing it correctly. The trick is not to try too hard or, as de Belgeonne puts it, “don’t over-effort”.
As someone who enjoys lifting weights in a grueling PT session or doing a sweaty five-mile run, lying down jiggling on the floor for two and a half hours at a time feels too simple. It takes some getting used to, but after some gentle encouragement from de Belgeonne, I relax into it and am pleasantly surprised. I sleep better that night than I have in months, and after the following morning’s session — there are three a day: one in the morning and evening, plus a 30-minute sleep session after dinner — I feel less tension in my shoulders.
The rocking is just one part of what de Belgeonne calls “the Human Method”, a program she designed as a result of her own volatile upbringing. “I realized none of my family were taught the tools to soothe themselves, so I was never taught it,” she says. “As a daughter of immigrants, I was only ever taught to strive — there was no safety net.” Over the years de Belgeonne tried all the classic attempts — “with hardcore running and boxing, and a lot of partying”. For a while it worked, but the uncomfortable feelings always returned.
“Fitness, diets and things like this are a sticking plaster if your nervous system is in disarray,” she continues. “The world we live in collapses the body and overstimulates the brain, so the two things are never in harmony. We need to unravel the nervous system and retrain it.”
De Belgeonne isn’t the woo-woo warrior I’d expected — she is grounded and straight-talking, with a deep, authoritative voice that wouldn’t sound out of place performing Shakespeare at the Globe or presenting the six o’clock news. And her clients are loyal. She works with everyone from high-flying CEOs to Hampstead housewives, who pay $4,230 for her 12-week program. The longest-standing has been with her for 15 years. Many find her online, but she also gets client referrals from other practitioners — for instance, a woman who had seizures whenever she felt scared as the result of a dysfunctional upbringing. Having been in talking therapy her entire life, her psychotherapist referred her to de Belgeonne. After six sessions, the seizures stopped. De Belgeonne doesn’t see herself as some sort of healer, though. She says her job is not to diagnose or fix, but “to allow you to feel what release and comfort feels like, so that you can organize yourself when you notice it”.
The majority of the retreat guests are midlife women, bookended by one in her late thirties and another in her seventies. Most are wealthy (prices for the retreat start at $1,444 for single occupancy), with high-pressure careers in the finance sector. A YouGov poll says that nearly one in four women in the UK feel unable to manage stress at work, and a McKinsey report on women in the workplace in the US found that 42 percent were experiencing burnout, compared with 35 percent of men. Around the dinner table, the youngest of the group tells me she found de Belgeonne when googling wellness retreats in the middle of a bout of burnout that saw her signed off from work for six months.
“A lot of my clients are people who are seeking something, but they’re not sure what,” de Belgeonne says. “This work isn’t sexy or fast — it’s not getting a hot body in Ibiza. It’s about the nub of what it means to have a meaningful and joyous life.”
It makes sense. I can barely remember the last time I went ten minutes without looking at my phone, never mind two and a half hours. The sessions force me to pay attention to myself rather than the rest of the world. I notice how different areas of my body feel and where there’s tension or discomfort. De Belgeonne is all about noticing things. Her sessions are littered with thoughtful “hmm’s” and rhetorical questions such as, “Isn’t that interesting?” and “How does that feel?”
While I’d love to have enough time to rock like a baby for six hours every day, I wonder how the method translates into normal life. De Belgeonne says she uses it as a “transitional ritual practice to take you from one thing to another”. For example, if I’ve been hunched over my laptop and need to head to a lengthy meeting, I should do some rocking to reset my nervous system in between. She also recommends doing it before bed each night. “Soothing throughout the day really helps,” she says.
I think she might be right. I leave the retreat feeling calm, collected and as though I can handle anything. I’m more confident and comfortable in myself and carry this with me in the weeks that follow. In moments when I’d usually let stress and tension send me into a spin, I hear de Belgeonne telling me to breathe and I relax. I’ve even tried some rocking on my living room floor. The message isn’t to stop doing the fast and furious things in life, but to use rocking and self-soothing to do those things better.